99 Problems: Hair Care Q&A


We get a lot of emails from very disgruntled, urgently desperate readers. If you are one of them don’t feel bad. I remember when I started my journey on having  healthy hair and I wrote Curly Nikki. It was along the lines of “My hair is so dry, I don’t know what to do. How do I get it to look like yours? Please help me as fast as you can. Thank you and have a nice day”. Swear to God, I di that. She never responded to my stalkin’ ass but now I understand that she has bigger fish to fry like accepting NAACP awards. (GO GIRL!!!!) Anyway, because we do have some time on our hands, I figured we could do some published Q&A to hopefully help others that are experiencing the same things.

1. Q: Hey! I attend a university in a predominantly white city in CA. I went natural 2 years ago. It’s still a challenge to wear my hair in its naturally big state. 95% of the time I wear my hair in a bun bc I don’t know how to do any other styles with my hair! What’s been an even bigger challenge is having the urge to flat iron my hair when it comes to my job. I want to know if you or other women have a fear of standing out bc of their hair & how to deal w/ this as women of color. Thanks!

I had this same fear when I started wearing my natural, unadulterated curls out. I was coming off of the flat iron dependency. Many people were not used to seeing my natural curls. Shoot, I wasn’t even used to seeing them. I had not fully mastered my hair care. Some days I was really proud of my curls while other days my curls were dry, frizzy, uncontrollable tufts. But regardless of what my hair was doing, I was scheduled to work. I was terrified of what others would think.  I experienced some negative comments here and there but I wanted to learn to love my hair and I knew in my heart that the illusions and conditioning of hating my kinky hair were not based on reality.  I say STOP straightening your hair and focus on straightening your mind. Mind over matter. Allow yourself to be afraid walking into work with your natural hair but walk into work with your natural hair anyway! The more you manage your natural hair and stay away from the flat iron, the sooner you will learn how to care for and style it and in return the more confident you will become. Soon you wont be concerned with what others think and you will be surprised by how many people will actually like it!


2Can u give me some methods to loosen up my curls? They’re so tight & it makes me look like a child.

Well, aside from chemically altering your hair, you are going to have to go the traditional route of 1. Waiting until your hair grows a bit longer so that it can be stretched 2. Try braid outs, twist outs and bantu knots. On the first day of a “braid or twist out” your hair may be tightly coiled but if you maintain them well enough by re-twisting and using only a little bit of water (think a spritz or two from a spray bottle or a small handful of H2O in your palm), you can have looser, fuller curls by the 2nd to 3rd day. Please research “how to stretch natural hair” on Youtube.

3. Q:Before you throw tomatoes at me and yell newbie just know that all I ask for is help. I have 3b hair (3c hair in the very back of my head and 2b hair on my bangs due to my reckless straightening ways in middle school). Im 16 and I feel like my hair can NEVER be healthy or dead nor look decent. I cannot put my self toward the CG no-poo method (let alone do I understand it), and I tend to be lazy when it comes to my curly hair routine. Ive used the Pantene Pro-V Curly Hair Moisture Renewal conditioner followed up by a normal shampoo(non- curly hair based and also by Pantene) and recently I have used the Aussie Moist Condition, which may I say I HATE. Anyways lets get to the dirt. For I don’t even know how long, Ive had extremely dead dry fine curly hair. Ive been to the salon with about 3-5 inches of visible dead hair waiting to be chopped off. I also deal with a lot of hair loss, I can latterly finger comb my hair when its dry and a clump of hair will easily fall out. My dilemma is how do I get my fine limp easily damageable hair to be healthy strong and moisturized. I would tell you my porosity level but when I did it 1/4 of the strand floated to the top, some to the middle and the rest to the bottom. Wanna throw those tomatoes yet? I don’t know what to do and as much as I hate to say it, because of my current hair conditions, I hate my curly hair, but all I seek for is hope. So curlies will you help?

First and foremost relax darling. Everything is gonna be alright. I am going to do my best to address some keys points. First and foremost – It does not pay to be a “lazy” curly girl. In the beginning of your journey towards healthy hair you must be diligent and conscientous. Once you get used to your hairs needs, you can surely fall back a bit. From the pictures you gave, your hair looks very similar in texture to Antoinette’s hair so you should take a cue from her regimen and products. It seems that all of the products you are using are laden with chemicals. You should probably go a more natural, simple route in terms of ingredients. Here are the recommended products that you should begin to put into your hair rotation.
1. Kinky Curly Knot Today Leave in Conditioner
2. Curls “Cashmere Curls Jelly” or Curls “Goddess Curls Gelle”
3. ALOE VERA JUICE (make sure it is juice and not gel)
You can use these products in the order they are listed. You can consider air drying or diffusing your hair. Antoinette struggles with limp curls and uses an afro pick at the roots of her hair to add volume. Check out this awesome link HERE to learn more about fine haired hair care.
Hoped this helps!
If you have any advice or recommendations for these curious, concerned cur lies share in the comments below! 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

3 thoughts on “99 Problems: Hair Care Q&A

  1. I have followed your blog for a while but this is my first time commenting. I’m so glad that curly girlies are supporting one another in their respective hair journeys. I think your feedback to these questions is spot on. As an suggestion to the young lady who wanted to loosen her curls, check out this link (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julee-wilson/style-in-the-wild-hair-rules-anthony-dickey_b_3831148.html). I found on the Huffington Post where hair stylist Anthony Dickey adivses Julee Wilson on how to style her hair. I’ve been following his tips — with a few modificiations since I style my hair in the shower — and have been really pleased with the reduction in shrinkage I’ve experiences.

  2. I’ve been following your blog for a while, but this is the first time I’ve commented. I think it’s great that curly girlies are supporting one another in their respective hair journeys. I am always on the look out for some new tips and tricks to help me take better care of my hair. To the young lady who was hoping to reduce shrinkage, check out this link and video (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julee-wilson/style-in-the-wild-hair-rules-anthony-dickey_b_3831148.html). Julee Wilson who wrote the article for the Huffington Post visited the Hair Rules Salon and worked with stylist Anthony Dickey to help her improve her styling. I’ve been following his advice — with a few modifications since I style in the shower — and have been pleased with the results. There has been a significant reduction in my shrinkage and my curl definition has never been better. Hope this helps!

  3. Re #1, I have been saying this for years: Wear your hair like you MEAN IT.

    I did my first BC on a Friday afternoon. I left the salon about as close to bald as I’d ever been in my life (short of birth, lol). Sunday night I told myself, “You may still be freaking out over this cut, but you CANNOT let it show.” Monday morning I walked into the office as usual. When people got up the courage to ask me what happened, I explained very simply that I’d been chemically straightening my hair for 18 years, I was tired of it, and I chose to get rid of it in the quickest way possible. And that was that. (I was a manager so I think that’s one reason why they were scared to approach me.)

    For the record, this was in the mid-90s. Wigs weren’t as ubiquitous as they are now plus they carried more of a stigma back then. Only old women, sick women, and a handful of older celebrities wore them. I was freaked-out enough about my BC that I probably would have bought one otherwise. The fact that my world DIDN’T collapse after my BC is what led me to my ongoing interest in discussions of black women’s hair and self-image.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *